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Friday, August 3, 2012

You might be a witch from Texas witch if... by Guest Author Michelle Kopra


You might be a witch from Texas witch if...

1. Instead of a broomstick, you ride on bullhorns.

2. Your familiar isn’t a cat but a chupacabra.

3. You think your wizard community is deep in the heart of Texas.

4. You mix love potion into the BBQ sauce.

5. Instead of a medicine bag, you have a medicine sack.

6. You smoke your brisket in a cauldron instead of a BBQ pit.

7. Blue bonnets, Shiner beer and armadillo nail clippings are the main ingredients in your love potion...and
your BBQ sauce.

8. You wear Nascar robes.

9. You call all your potions “coke.

10. You know that "Hexing y’all" is singular and "hexing all y’all" is plural.

11. Your wand is a corn dog lathered with mustard.

12. Your wizard hat has the Ranger’s logo on it.

13. You have a tattoo that reads: If you mess with Texas, prepare for my Hexes!

14. Your fixin to brand the unicorns in your stable.

15. Your purple alligator skin cowboy boots double as a wand holder.

16. You have Texas shaped candles on your altar.

17. If “Padre in your pants” is a spell you used on Santa Anna.

18. Instead of a pentagram in a circle, you draw a lone star.

19. You have a Come and take itdecal on your wand.

20. If you save the broom and ride a cowboy!

About the author: 
I suppose you are dying to know who this Michelle Kopra is; n'est pas?
If you figure it out, please let me know ;)

I have worked in hospitals, in zoo's, in casinos, and with shoes (hey, look at that, I rhymed).

I am a day dreamer, not much of a day tripper, or day trader for that matter. But I do get lost in my own little world about Fairies, Elves, brass goggles, nifty airships, and steamy romances.

I used to be a closet writer, writhing in agony if anyone came near me when I was trying to put story to paper.

Then I had kids. Two of them, with big brown eyes, and sweet little giggles and sticky fingers that goober up my computer screen, and suddenly I didn't care how silly my stories seemed to the rest of the world. Well, not as much anyways ;)

I have six stories published on Amazon.com for the moment, with several more in the works. Please feel free to contact me, I can be found on Facebook, twitter, and at my website michellekopra.com. Let me know if you love my stories, or hate them, or if I parked in your spot!

http://www.facebook.com/michelle.kopra
https://twitter.com/#!/MICHELLEKOPRA
michellekopra.com

5 comments:

Allison Merritt said...

Oh, geez, Michelle! I about busted a gut:
10. You know that "Hexing y’all" is singular and "hexing all y’all" is plural.

What a great list!

michelle kopra said...

Thanks :D

Unless your from the south, or Texas, you might not get some of the jokes.But they were fun as heck to write :)

michelle kopra said...

And thanks Jennifer for letting me guest post :)

Jennifer G said...

No, Thank you Michelle for allowing me to review your book. I just got the review post up. Will you be adding your book to Goodreads?

michelle kopra said...

Yes sometime this week :)

 
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